Canadian Musician Coleman Hell Opens Up About Mental Health Struggles

He describes his experience with bipolar disorder in song "Manic."

It seemed as though all of Coleman Hell’s dreams were coming true: he was nominated for two Junos for his smash hit “2 Heads,” and it was being heard all over the radio. He performed at WayHome Music & Arts two summers ago and went on tour with twenty one pilots.

But as all of this was happening he seemed to be confined to his bedroom.

“It’s this weird middle ground where you want to move but you can’t. It’s something I’ve felt so many times: lying in my bed and feeling so low I can’t get up. I want to, but I can’t muster the strength,” the Thunder Bay native explains.

He opens up about it all in a song that wasn’t even going to be on the album but thought it would be useful for others going through similar mental health issues. It’s called “Manic.”

“I thought that might be something of use to someone. I know there’s a lot of songs that are maybe more hopeful, but this is a real depiction of how it feels.”

The music video is a pretty intimate one as it was taken with his iPhone:


YouTube / colemanhellVEVO

Here are the powerful lyrics to “Manic”:

[Verse 1]
I can’t get out of my bed, think there’s magnets in my mattress
Might as well just be a casket for all I care
Oh no, here we go again
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in
When I feel crazy, I hide it, then fall apart in private
Where my mirror’s the only one who sees my tears
There’s a method to my sadness, it’s a chemical imbalance
And my head is damaged way beyond repair

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I’m a manic depressive, passive aggressive, emotionally repressed
Introverted extroverted, melancholic, alcoholic mess
I wish my inner thoughts were dinner conversation
I wished on every star and every constellation

[Chorus]
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive)
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive)
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive)
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive)

[Verse 2]
Some days, I wish I was dead
Think I’m broken, I can’t fix it
It’s an intangible sickness, but it’s there
Oh no, here we go again
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in
So I wrestle my demons ’til I go off the deep end
Where I’m drowning and I can’t come up for air
I’ve tried every medication and I’ve gone in hibernation
Hiding in my room like a bipolar bear

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I’m obsessive, compulsive, and self-destructive
Hey, what did you expect?
Narcissistic and neurotic, I’m just one big ball of stress
I wish my inner thoughts were dinner conversation
I wished on every star and every constellation
I wish that I was calm and wasn’t always anxious
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in, oh
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in, oh
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in

[Chorus]
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive)
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive)
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive) (Creeping in)
Oh, manic, oh, manic, oh (I’m a manic depressive)

[Outro]
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in, oh
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in, oh
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in, oh
The bad thoughts are creeping in
The bad thoughts are creeping in

Last year, he had had enough with feeling the way he was feeling and he sought professional help. He’s changed his daily regimen by eating healthier and exercising more. Since, he’s lost 50 pounds.

Kudos to Coleman Hell for sharing this part of himself in hopes to help others going through the same thing.

Main Image via Facebook / Coleman Hell