THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU TURN 40!

And here it is… 40, my god, I want to throw up! 

This is a day that I’ve been dreading.  People say that turning 40 “is no big deal.”  But it is to me- today anyways.  So while I deal with this milestone in my own irrational way, these are things that I’ve just realized.

OMG, it’s such a big number!

So now, when people say “middle-aged,” they mean me…

I just realized I can’t wear sequins or I’ll look like a cougar!

I’m more likely to forget to have sex than to forget to floss!

If I eat chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, I will gain a full dress size by dinnertime.

All of sudden my tight mini-skirts make me look like I’m trying too hard.

When I flirt with the cable guy, I don’t get extra channels for free anymore.

I should have taken naked pictures of myself when I was 30?