🍂 Reasons I Love Fall More Than My Partner

The Over-40, Slightly Horny, Perimenopausal Edition

Fall is officially here, and while some women are excited about pumpkin spice and colourful leaves, I’m just happy I can wear a sweater without sweating through my bra.

And honestly, the more I think about it, the more I realize... fall gives me everything I want in a relationship, without asking what’s for dinner.

RELATED: Favourite Fall Activities, the over 40 addition!

1. Fall gives me the chills. My partner just gives me the ick when he chews too loudly.

2. Fall knows how to set the mood. Candles, blankets, a crackling fireplace. My partner thinks foreplay is asking, “You still awake?”

3. Fall lasts three months. Which is approximately 2 months, 29 days and 23 hours longer than my partner.

4. Fall brings out my favourite sweaters. My partner brings out my favourite personality disorder.

5.. Fall gives me pumpkin spice. My partner gives me gas after Thanksgiving dinner.

6. Fall makes me feel alive again. My partner makes me wonder if I remembered to book my annual mammogram.

7. Fall gives me beautiful colours. My partner gives me fifty shades of grey... mostly in his chest hair.

8. Fall doesn't care if I haven't shaved my legs. In fact, it encourages me to grow a little winter coat.

9. Fall makes me feel sexy in boots and leggings. My partner makes me feel sexy by finally cleaning the bathroom without being asked.

10. Fall gives me everything I need: cooler nights, hot drinks, warm blankets and zero boob sweat. My partner gives me a thumbs-up emoji when I send him a sexy picture.