GEN Z WANTS TO RENAME THE “TRAMP STAMP”... EXCUSE ME?

Gen Z has discovered another ancient relic from millennial history and, naturally, they’ve decided it needs a rebrand. This time, it’s the lower-back tattoo.

You know the one.

The tattoo that spent the early 2000s peeking out between our dangerously low-rise jeans and unnecessarily high-rise thong.

Back in our day, it was called a “tramp stamp.” Was that a nice name? Absolutely not. But neither were our eyebrows in 2003, and we’ve all agreed to move forward.

Now Gen Z is apparently pushing for a friendlier name: “cake topper.”

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Listen, as a 45-year-old millennial woman, I appreciate the attempt to make it less offensive. But you cannot simply stroll into the museum of our questionable Y2K decisions and start renaming the exhibits.

The internet has offered up some other alternatives, including “Booty Mark,” “Discount Tag,” “Bumper Sticker,”and “Jersey Plate.”

So naturally, I have a few submissions of my own:

• The Lower-Back Throwback
• The Y2K Bumper Sticker
• The 2003 Time Stamp
• The Backstreet Badge
• The Thong Companion
• The Above-the-Crack Snack
• The Ass Accessory
• The Low-Rise Surprise
• The Butterfly Regret
• The Christina Aguilera Era
• The Nokia Loading Screen
• The Millennial Birthmark
• The Cabo Souvenir
• The “I Was 22, Okay?”
• The Parental Disappointment Decal

And because everything we wore, listened to and permanently tattooed onto ourselves eventually becomes cool again, lower-back tattoos are apparently having another moment.

Which means somewhere right now, a 22-year-old is getting a butterfly tattoo above her butt and thinking she invented sexy.

Meanwhile, a 45-year-old millennial is looking at hers in the mirror thinking:

“That thing has survived three recessions, two childbirths and 47 different jean rises. Show some respect.”

Call it a cake topper if you want.

We know what it is. We were there.