Getting older is weird because you don't actually feel older. 

You still feel 28... until you stand up too quickly, sneeze with a full bladder, or get genuinely excited about a new vacuum. 😂

At some point, you stop caring about being cool, start caring deeply about lumbar support, and realize cancelling plans feels better than making them. So in honour of getting older, wiser, slightly more tired, and completely out of patience...

The Older I Get…

The less interested I am in impressing people and the more interested I am in finding my reading glasses.

The less I care about being hot and the more I care about not being hot. Turn the thermostat DOWN.

The less I want a six-pack and the more I want to eat cheese without consequences.

The more I realize that “going out” and “having fun” are not necessarily the same thing.

The more I appreciate a restaurant where I can hear the person sitting across from me.

The less I care if my underwear is sexy. Does it stay where I put it? SOLD.

The more likely I am to choose a hotel based entirely on the quality of the mattress.

The less I want flowers and the more I want someone to notice the dishwasher needs emptying.

The more I understand why women eventually just cut their hair off.

The more dangerous a sneeze becomes.

The more I need 48 hours to recover from staying up until 11:30.

The less I want expensive shoes and the more I want shoes I can walk in without developing a medical condition.

The more I realize that “date night” can absolutely be Costco followed by going home.

The more I understand that a good bra is basically structural engineering.

The more I find myself saying things like, “I can't drink coffee after 2.”

The less I want to be invited to things and the more offended I am when I'm not invited.

The more my body makes noises when I stand up, despite me not authorizing any sound effects.

And the older I get, the more I realize I don't need to “find myself. I need to find my phone, my glasses, my keys and the password I literally just changed yesterday.

RELATED: What We Start Liking LESS The Older We Get!

Maybe getting older isn’t about becoming boring. Maybe it’s about finally figuring out what actually makes you happy: comfortable pants, good friends, an empty calendar, eight hours of sleep and absolutely no obligation to impress anyone.

Because with age comes wisdom… but unfortunately, it also comes with random chin hairs, mysterious knee pain and needing your reading glasses to find your reading glasses.

And frankly, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well… maybe we’d take our 25-year-old metabolism back. That thing was incredible.