Why Being an Adult Is Stupid

No one warns you that adulthood isn’t about big milestones or glamorous freedom.

It’s about a slow, deeply confusing shift where your standards for excitement quietly collapse, and you don’t even notice it happening.

RELATED: Adulting 101: Tips for Buying a House

One day, you’re staying out late, winging it, and living on vibes. The next day, you’re proud of yourself for remembering to move the laundry to the dryer and buying a candle that promises emotional stability.

Adulthood doesn’t arrive with a bang. It shows up disguised as responsibility, self-care, and a shocking amount of interest in home goods. And once you realize what’s happened, it’s already too late.

Which brings us to this uncomfortable truth: being an adult is, objectively, very stupid.

Being an adult is so stupid.

My friend is coming over, and I’m genuinely excited to show her my new shower curtain.
Not my kitchen. Not my house.
A shower curtain.

Being an adult is so stupid.

You can technically do whatever you want, and somehow you’re spending your free time doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing like it’s a competitive sport, and going on little walks to “clear your head” like an idiot.

Being an adult is so stupid.

Your idea of living dangerously is eating dairy after 7 p.m. and just… seeing how the night unfolds.

Being an adult is so stupid.

You own candles for moods you have never once achieved.
“Calm.”
“Focus.”
“Romantic.”
Sir, I am just trying to survive a Tuesday.

Being an adult is so stupid.

You don’t need a night to recover from socializing. You need three business days, a hydration plan, and at least one lie to get out of plans in the future.