Absolut Has Released Tabasco-Flavoured VodkaYour Stomach Was Not Consulted

Somewhere, a bottle of antacids just felt a chill.

Absolut has teamed up with Tabasco to create a brand-new product called Absolut TABASCO, because apparently regular vodka wasn’t already doing enough damage on its own.

Yes. Spicy vodka is now a thing you can legally purchase.

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Before you assume they just dumped hot sauce into a bottle and called it innovation, relax. They went fancier than that. The vodka is made using Tabasco’s pepper mash, which is the base ingredient used to make the hot sauce. So this isn’t a prank. It’s artisanal chaos.

Absolut describes the heat level as “medium,” which sounds reassuring until you realize the product’s first ad shows four people drinking it next to an active volcano. Very comforting messaging. Nothing says “subtle spice” like molten lava in the background.

According to the official description, it’s a “smooth vodka accented with a heat that builds, leaving a warm, lingering tingle on the lips with every sip.” Which is marketing language for “you will feel this immediately and possibly regret it.”

The vodka clocks in at 76 proof, or 38% alcohol, making it slightly less potent than standard vodka. A thoughtful move, really. If you’re going to light people up internally, the least you can do is ease off the alcohol a touch.

Absolut says it pairs well with mixers, but truly shines in Bloody Marys, which makes sense because that drink already lives dangerously. It’s available nationwide now, so yes, you can absolutely bring this to a party and become that person.

The bottom line? Absolut TABASCO is bold, spicy, unnecessary, and destined to be ordered once out of curiosity and then talked about forever. Drink responsibly. Eat beforehand. Keep antacids nearby. And maybe don’t test it on an empty stomach unless you enjoy learning life lessons the hard way. 🌶️🥃