Birds Poop on Some Cars More Than Others — and Apparently, It’s Personal

If you’ve ever walked out to your car and found a “gift” from above, you’ve probably muttered something unprintable and wondered, “Why me?”

Well, turns out it’s not just bad luck or karma for skipping recycling day — science says some cars are targeted more than others.

According to a new report, birds are more likely to poop on brown cars than any other colour.

Red and black came next, while white and silver got the least splatter. So if you’re driving a dark-coloured SUV, maybe keep that car wash punch card handy.

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Researchers say birds can see ultraviolet light, which means their colour vision is way more advanced than ours. Darker cars might stand out like a giant “hit me” sign from the sky.

And get this — shiny surfaces act like mirrors. During mating season, territorial birds might see their reflection and think it’s another bird trying to move in on their turf. So they do what any angry bird would do… launch an aerial attack. With poop.

Which explains why it always happens right after you’ve just washed the car. Coincidence? The birds think not.

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The Brands That Get the Most Bird Bombs

In the ultimate “ew” ranking, Ram trucks came out as the most frequently pooped-on vehicles, followed by Jeep, Chevrolet, Nissan, and Dodge. Tesla, Audi, Ford, and Subaru rounded out the list.

Apparently, 24% of drivers spend over $500 a year dealing with bird-related damage or car washes — and Tesla and BMW owners spend the most. (Guess even the birds can’t resist a luxury target.)

Bottom Line:

If your car’s brown, black, or red, the birds are coming for you.
If it’s white or silver, you’re slightly safer — but don’t get cocky.

Because in the end, Mother Nature always wins… especially when she’s got wings. 🕊️💩🇨🇦