CDC Offers ‘Zombie Preparedness Guide’ But Parents Have Been Living With Baby Zombies Forever!
Babies are little zombies that turn their parents into zombies!
Just in case Nostradamus is right, the CDC has your back! French philosopher and prophet Michel de Nostradamus reportedly predicted a zombie apocalypse for 2021. But don’t worry, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has you covered as they have put out a zombie preparedness tip list. To be fair, this zombie guide was developed in 2011 as a marketing gimmick, but it still applies. Here’s your guide!
But wait! Parents have been living with zombies since the dawn of time! Why babies, are basically little zombies.
Zombie vs. Baby. The similarities
Messy head of hair
incomplete set of teeth
constant oral excretions
speaks in moans and screams
Funky smells are constant
aggressive appetites
Clumsy, random motor skills, unstable, lurching walk
Messy eaters, no sense of right and wrong
Hell Bent on destruction
Keeps you awake at night in fear
And finally, has the ability to turn others into zombies
