The “Parents” of Hot Dogs and Ketchup Are Divorcing 🌭💔🍅

It’s official: Kraft Heinz is splitting up. After nearly a decade of marriage, the world’s biggest food power couple has decided to call it quits — leaving hot dogs and ketchup stuck in the middle like kids in a messy custody battle.

From Honeymoon to Heartbreak

When Kraft and Heinz tied the knot in 2015, it was billed as the ultimate food industry love story. Think mac and cheese meets ketchup — comfort food soulmates. But after a short honeymoon period, things soured faster than milk left out in August.

Yesterday, they announced the breakup. The “divorce” won’t be finalized until sometime next year, but the split is happening.

Who Gets What in the Split?

Like any divorce, the assets had to be divided:

• Kraft’s side (North America) → Oscar Mayer, Maxwell House, Capri Sun, Kraft Singles, Lunchables. Basically, your childhood lunchbox.
• Heinz’s side (Global Sauces & Taste Elevation) → Heinz ketchup, Philadelphia cream cheese, Kraft Mac & Cheese. Basically, everything you panic-buy before a BBQ.

So no, you won’t have to worry about ketchup disappearing from shelves — but it may have to spend alternate weekends with Kraft Singles.

RELATED: Kraft Singles Will Be Easier To Open

What’s Next?

It’s unclear if the brands will revert to their “maiden names” post-divorce. But one thing’s certain: family dinners will never be the same. Somewhere out there, a lonely hot dog is wondering who will tuck it into its bun with ketchup at the next cookout.