Protein Overload: Have We Gone Too Far, or Should My Water Also Have Abs?

We get it — protein is great. It keeps us full, helps build muscle, and makes us feel slightly athletic when we’ve only lifted a reusable grocery bag. But do we really need protein in everything, including snacks that were never meant to be healthy?

Lately, brands have started injecting protein into anything that sits still long enough. Pop-Tarts, Doritos, coffee, even water — everything is bulking up like it’s training for a bodybuilding competition at Costco.

Here are some of the wildest foods now hitting the gym:

Pop-Tarts with Protein

Launching this November in three flavours, these new Pop-Tarts promise protein… but let’s be honest, they’re still frosting-filled pastries. Are we supposed to bench press them?

🔺 Doritos: Gains Edition

PepsiCo just announced “protein-packed” Doritos — finally uniting gym bros and couch chips enthusiasts. Your snack can now spot you.

☕ Starbucks: Cold Foam with Biceps

Because caffeine wasn’t enough, Starbucks is now offering protein-boosted cold foam.
“Hi, can I get a venti quad shot, one pump vanilla, half sweet, extra foam… and make it swole?”

🥜 Protein-Added Peanut Butter

Peanut butter: already one of the most protein-rich foods on Earth. Skippy said, “Hold my spoon,” and crammed in even more. This is no longer a spread — it’s a lifestyle.

🍿 Khloé Kardashian’s ‘Khloud’ Protein Popcorn

From the family that brought us detox tea and emotional damage comes 7 grams of protein per serving of popcorn. Honestly, I’ll eat three bags and become Wolverine.

RELATED: Starbucks Is Testing a Protein-Packed Cold Foam — and It Could Be a Game Changer

💧 Protein Water

Hydration, but make it diesel. Isopure’s protein water has 15 grams of protein per bottle, in case your H2O needs deltoids.

🍬 Protein Candy (Yes, Really)

Protein gummies, protein chocolate, protein taffy. Finally, on Halloween, you can justify. “It’s not candy, it’s meal prep.”

🏅 Honourable Mentions

• Cereal
• Mac and Cheese
• Waffles
  All are now moonlighting as gym trainers.

⚠️ But Here’s the Catch…

A lot of these “protein-packed” treats are still sugar bombs, ultra-processed, and loaded with sodium. Just because your Dorito has protein doesn’t mean it’s flexing for your health.