Ten Reasons Thanksgiving Dinner is Better Than Sex

Thanksgiving is almost here, which means stretchy pants, turkey comas, and pretending your cousin’s “gluten-free stuffing” is edible.

And honestly? When you think about it, Thanksgiving dinner might just be better than sex — and here’s why.

10. You’re guaranteed to get at least one of your favourite dishes.

Unlike your dating life, the Thanksgiving menu actually delivers. There’s no guesswork — just mashed potatoes, gravy, and satisfaction.

9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.

It shows up hot, glistening, and completely naked under the tinfoil. Confidence goals.

8. You can nibble before dinner — even if Mom sees you.

Sneaking a taste of stuffing isn’t scandalous. It’s encouraged. Just don’t double-dip your spoon in the gravy boat again, Aunt Carol.

7. You’re expected to pass the dishes around.

Sharing is caring — and unlike some people you’ve dated, no one’s hoarding the good stuff.

6. There are always at least two kinds of dessert — with or without whipped cream.

Pumpkin pie, apple crisp, maybe even Nana’s “secret recipe” trifle (which we all know is just Cool Whip and regret).

RELATED: 80% of Canadians Think Our Thanksgiving Is Better Than Americas

5. You get the day off with pay to have dinner.

Imagine being paid to do the horizontal stuffing. Yeah, didn’t think so.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a sure thing.

You don’t need to flirt, swipe, or hope for a text back. Just show up hungry and you’ll get exactly what you came for.

3. Seconds are encouraged — and take-home is practically mandatory.

There’s no judgment for round two (or three). And yes, you can totally pack leftovers “for tomorrow” that mysteriously vanish at midnight.

2. You’re expected to fall asleep after.

Stretchy pants, full belly, and the dulcet tones of Uncle Gary snoring through the CFL game. Pure bliss.

1. You’re EXPECTED to watch football before and after dinner.

No awkward small talk required. Just gravy, gridiron, and gratitude.

Honourable mention:
No one gets mad if you say, “I’m just here for the pie.”