“Have Your Best Baby” — Because Apparently Babies Now Come With a Custom Settings Menu

Just when you thought picking paint colours and baby names was stressful enough… along comes a fertility company telling parents they can now upgrade their future child.

A startup called Nucleus Genomics has launched a bold ad campaign promoting embryo screening that claims to predict a baby’s intelligence, height and even physical traits. Yes — apparently we’ve entered the “Build-A-Baby” era.

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Their ads flooded New York subway stations with the slogan “Have Your Best Baby”, encouraging hopeful parents to “build generational health,” which sounds less like parenting and more like a luxury real estate slogan.

They even posted cheeky posters reading “These babies have great genes” — a nod to a controversial fashion ad from earlier this year. Subtle? Not even a little.

So what are they actually offering?

Parents using their service can analyze embryos through “genetic optimization software,” allowing them to compare potential traits like:

• Eye and hair colour
• Possible health risks
• Height
• Cognitive potential

Critics are calling it what we’re all secretly thinking: designer babies, while others are raising concerns about ethics and turning reproduction into a shopping experience.

But controversy hasn’t slowed them down. Not even close. Since the campaign launched in mid-November, the company claims a jaw-dropping 1,700% spike in sales — proving that nothing sells quite like parental anxiety mixed with science fiction.

So… are we still doing lullabies and swaddles?
Or is this where we start adding babies to our online cart and selecting “premium brain package”?