Cyber Monday, Eh? The Day Canadians Buy Stuff We Don’t Need (At Prices We Still Complain About)

Happy Cyber Monday — the most sacred shopping holiday for Canadians who don’t like crowds, don’t like people, and don’t like pants.

It’s the one day a year when we click “add to cart” like we’re trying to qualify for Team Canada Finger Gymnastics.
And for what? Deals on things we didn’t know existed until today at 8:01 a.m.

Take the classic Cyber Monday purchase: a waffle iron.
You don’t even eat breakfast. You don’t own butter. You’re allergic to syrup. And yet — boom — there it is on your doorstep, mocking you like a gluten-free lie.

Because Cyber Monday is the complete opposite of your grandma’s advice.
She says, “Save your money!”
Meanwhile, we’re out here spending it all in one place like we’re starring in a financial cautionary tale.

The Official Canadian Cyber Monday Calendar:

Cyber Monday – Buy everything!
Why Did I Buy That Tuesday – You stare at your order history like it’s a bad dating decision.
Where the Hell Is My Package Wednesday – Your tracking page says “In transit,” but it might as well say “Good luck.”
How Do I Get a Refund Thursday – You suddenly remember you already own three versions of whatever that was.

In Canada, Cyber Monday Hits Differently

It’s the holiday for people who love bargains but hate human interaction.
A celebration for those who think, “Wow, I can shop AND avoid talking to strangers? Count me in.”

And the emails.
Oh, the emails.

But Here’s the Thing: We Should Still Try to Shop Local

Between clicking “Buy Now” on a discounted Bluetooth banana peeler, Canadians should remember…

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Amazon doesn’t live in Barrie.
But the people who run the cute little local shops do.

Local businesses:
✔ Give better customer service
✔ Remember your name
✔ Don’t send you 48 emails and a “YOU FORGOT SOMETHING IN YOUR CART!!!” notification
✔ Actually give back to the community

Plus, buying local means your package won’t be stuck in “Mississauga limbo” for two and a half weeks.
You can pick it up TODAY, talk to a real human (if you're feeling brave), and feel good about supporting your town.

Cyber Monday Tip for Canadians

Shop the deals, but don’t forget about your favourite local spots — they keep our communities alive, cozy, and full of unique finds you won’t get from an algorithm.

Also, don’t buy the waffle iron. You know who you are. (You're me, It's me)