Your Kids Want a Raccoon Now? Hard Pass.

Just when you thought surviving the “I NEED a pet” phase was over (looking at you, neglected childhood turtle), here comes the next unhinged request: a raccoon.

Yes, the same masked bandits who treat your green bin like an all-you-can-eat buffet may be on the path to looking even cuter — and that’s where the problem begins.

Researchers say raccoons are slowly changing thanks to spending more time around humans. Their faces are becoming softer and more “friendly-looking,” which scientists suggest could be early signs of something called domestication syndrome. In simple terms: they’re starting to look more Disney, less dumpster.

But don’t let the doe eyes fool you.

They are still chaotic creatures with a talent for destruction, a love of mess, and zero interest in being potty-trained. They’re not suddenly trading trash for chew toys.

Raccoons aren’t alone either. Urban foxes and even city mice are also developing softer features as they adapt to life near people. Cute? Sure. Suitable for your condo? Absolutely not.

Experts stress that these animals still need space, freedom, and their natural wild environments. Plus, in many areas, owning a raccoon or fox as a pet is straight-up illegal.

RELATED: Nurse Revives Drunken Raccoon After Moonshine Mishap

The bottom line:

They may be getting cuter, but they’re not getting cuddlier.

So if your child asks for a raccoon, kindly redirect them to something more realistic… like a goldfish. Or a low-maintenance plant named Steve. 🦝💅🏼