The 3 Phrases That Will Torpedo Your Relationship Faster Than You Can Say “I’m Fine”

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but those passive-aggressive one-liners your partner keeps tossing around? Yeah, they can take a perfect relationship and send it straight into the emotional compost bin.

According to psychologist and author Jeffrey Bernstein (aka someone who clearly understands what it’s like to have one too many “we need to talk” moments), there are three toxic little phrases you should never say to your partner—unless you’re aiming for a breakup, in which case, go wild.

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Ready for them?

1. “You’re overreacting.”

Oh, we’re overreacting? You mean like when you lost your mind because the pizza guy forgot your garlic dip? Dismissing someone’s feelings like they’re having a full meltdown over nothing is a surefire way to make them feel unseen, unheard, and one step closer to Googling “quiet places to scream into the void.”

2. “It’s no big deal.”

Correction: It is a big deal to the person bringing it up. This phrase might as well be code for “I don’t care about your feelings, but I’d like you to stop talking now.” Unless you’re trying to turn a small disagreement into a three-day silent standoff over laundry baskets, maybe don’t.

3. “You’re too sensitive.”

This one’s the emotional equivalent of stepping on a LEGO barefoot. It's not only rude, it's condescending. Translation: “Your emotional needs are inconvenient for me right now, so I’m going to shame you for having them.” Yikes.

Dr. Bernstein says we all tend to be on our best behaviour at the start of a relationship—cue the polite texts and actual interest in each other’s childhood pets—but over time, some people get too comfy and start treating their partner like a customer service rep during a Wi-Fi outage.

And when phrases like these become part of the regular rotation? Well, let’s just say the love train might be headed off the rails.

Moral of the story? If you don’t want to hear it from your partner after a long day of life, don’t say it to them either. Communication is key, empathy is sexy, and nobody ever got extra cuddles for calling someone “too sensitive.”

So… what’s the phrase that makes your eye twitch?