Things That Only Happen in Summer (and We Just Accept It)

The summer solstice is just around the corner, which means it’s officially time for BBQs, beach days, and pretending we’re thriving when our thighs are crying.

Summer is the most hyped-up season of the year — and for good reason. But let’s be honest, it comes with a few very specific experiences that only make sense once the temps hit patio weather. Here’s what we know is going to happen this summer (because it always does):

RELATED:

1. You come back from the beach with 6 pounds of sand.
Not just in your shoes — we’re talking swimsuit crevices, belly buttons, and somehow, your ears. It’s like the beach follows you home out of spite.

2. “I’m bored” — 20 minutes into summer break.
Your kids begged for summer freedom, and now they’re staring at you like you’re the head of the local entertainment committee.

3. Your hair gives off strong poodle-in-a-sauna energy.
The humidity is not your friend. Your sleek blowout lasted for 14 seconds, and now your bangs are forming their province.

4. Chafing thighs? Absolutely. Relief? Not until Thanksgiving.
Walking in a dress feels like you’re starting a fire between your legs. Gold Bond and bike shorts become your summertime ride-or-dies.

5. The Great Ice Cube Hunt of 2025.
It’s 32°C and you’re sprinting from one store to the next, only to find the ice bins empty and everyone else holding slushies smugly.

6. You freeze indoors, then go outside to defrost.
Your AC is blasting like it’s mid-January. Now you’re outside on the porch in July... wearing a hoodie.

7. Sunburned for the fourth time before Canada Day.
You swore you'd remember sunscreen this year. You lied. Now you're bonding with a bottle of Solarcaine again, like toxic exes.

8. Plastic patio chairs become part of your anatomy.
You stand up, and the chair design is imprinted on your thighs. Bonus points if it squeaked when you sat down.

9. No one’s at work. Anywhere.
Need a reply from someone in July? Good luck. Out-of-office replies have taken over the country, and your email is floating in the void.