What To Do When There Is No TP In The Public Restroom!

Pooping in public can be stressful for a lot of reasons—but it's much worse when there's no TP to be found.

We’ve all been there.  You’re out in public, and you have to go bad!

You have tunnel vision while running to a stall to eliminate that situation and realize to your horror that the toilet paper dispenser is empty. Here’s what to do when there’s no toilet paper in
your bathroom stall.

Ask For Help!

If you’re alone in the restroom, your first step is to check other stalls for supplies.  If you’re not alone, swallow your pride and ask your fellow humans for help!  

If there’s no one to get help from and no toilet paper available at all, your next step is to contemplate non-standard paper products:

  • Toilet seat covers. These are your best option if they’re available. They’re sanitary and flushable, so they’re just oddly-shaped toilet paper anyway.
  • Paper towels. If you can grab some paper towels from the sink area, you’ll have a scratchy but effective substitute. You can minimize the roughness by getting them a little damp before using them.
  • Cardboard roll. The bare cardboard toilet paper roll might be mocking you from the dispenser, but you can use it for an extremely unpleasant wiping experience. Like paper towels, you can make it marginally more comfortable with some strategic dampening. (Note the word marginally in that sentence.)

If none of the above is available and you have wandered into a Mad Max restroom situation where there are no paper products at all in the wasteland of bacteria and shame, you’re going to have to get creative.

Check Your Pockets or Purse…

Look for tissues, receipts, wrappers or even cash to wipe away the shame…

Worst case, sacrifice your wardrobe! You have arrived at the final circle of hell, you’ve been in the restroom for half an hour and have exhausted all other options.  Use your socks, underwear or undershirt…

And a friendly reminder that if you are forced to use anything other than TP- don’t flush it down the toilet as you could clog up the system….