Why Americans Would Hate for Us to Join Their Country...

Look, we get it. The idea of merging Canada and the U.S. has been tossed around before, but let’s be real—Americans couldn’t handle us.

Here’s why:

🇨🇦 We rock ketchup chips—and we’re not ashamed of our permanently red-stained fingers.

🧣 We wear toques in July—because summer nights can still be chilly, okay?

🍁 We’re ridiculously polite—we’ll even apologize for you if you mess up.

❄️ Cold? Never heard of it. Winter jackets are optional.

🔥 We look amazing in flannel—it’s basically our national uniform.

🍻 Drink for drink? We’ll keep up. And probably outlast you.

🏒 Hockey isn’t a sport, it’s a religion. And we take it very seriously.

🧔 Beards? Love ’em. Lumberjack chic is always in.

💦 We’ve been baptized in fresh glacial water. Basically, we’re built differently.

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🎿 Outdoorsy? Oh, you just started hiking? We’ve been skiing, skating, and canoeing since birth.

☕ Tim Hortons over Starbucks. Don’t argue.

🍩 We know a good donut when we see one. And we appreciate it deeply.

❤️ We love Canada, but we appreciate America too. Just… from a comfortable distance.

So yeah, we’d probably drive Americans a little crazy, but admit it—you’d love to have us at your party. 🇨🇦💁‍♀️