What Your Halloween Candy Says About You
From candy corn to full-size chocolate bars, the treats you handed out this Halloween say a lot about you—and the kids in the neighbourhood have definitely taken note.
Here’s the breakdown of what your candy choices reveal about your Halloween spirit (or lack thereof).
1. Tootsie Rolls: “The Dentist Is on Speed Dial”
Handing out Tootsie Rolls? Let’s be honest—these treats are less about sugar and more about setting up someone’s future dental work. If you’re handing these out, it’s probably because you’ve got a stash left over from 2005 that you’re finally trying to unload.
2. Fruit Snacks: “Hello from the Health Nut”
You’re likely the “almond mom” in the neighbourhood, trying to sneak in a little extra nutrition. And yes, you will be getting some confused looks from kids who came in costume for candy, not a wholesome snack!
Related: Post-Halloween Health Hack: Why You Should Reach for Sauerkraut After a Candy Binge
3. Mars Bars: “Grandpa Vibes All the Way”
Mars bars? You might just be the resident Halloween traditionalist—or someone who hasn’t updated their candy selection since the '70s. It’s a solid choice, but it definitely says you’ve got a bit of an old soul.
4. Fun-Size Snickers: “Classy Candy Giver”
Fun-size Snickers says you’re that classy candy-giver who knows the joy of good chocolate but keeps things reasonably under control. You’re probably someone who likes to keep everyone happy without going overboard.
5. Full-Size Snickers: “Living Large”
If you’re the hero who handed out full-size Snickers, congratulations! You’re basically a Halloween MVP. You know how to win kids over, and your generosity is remembered year after year.
6. King-Size Snickers: “Welcome to the Upper Echelon”
King-size Snickers? Okay, we get it—you’re loaded! You’re like the Elon Musk of Halloween treats, going above and beyond to prove your Halloween game is on a whole different level.
7. Candy Corn: “Not Here to Make Friends”
Giving out candy corn? Bold move, friend. Either you genuinely love the stuff (rare) or you just want to keep the trick-or-treaters guessing. Either way, candy corn remains a divisive treat, and the kids probably won’t forget it anytime soon.
8. Cans of Pop: “Lazy Bones”
If you couldn’t be bothered to buy candy and went with cans of pop, it’s safe to say you’re taking the path of least resistance this Halloween. Just beware: pop doesn’t fit in treat bags, and it’s heavy. Kids might roll their eyes, but hey, you tried… kinda.
9. Whoppers: “I’m Here for the Drama”
Handing out Whoppers says you’re a bit of a Halloween rebel. You wanted to keep things just a little weird and throw the neighbourhood for a loop. Whoppers aren’t candy corn levels of controversy, but they’re still not making you any new friends.
10. Pretzels: “Completely Missed the Memo”
Pretzels on Halloween? You’re either going for irony, or you seriously missed the point of the holiday. This isn’t snack time—Halloween is for sweets, but hey, you do you.
11. Raisins: “Actively Inviting Trickery”
If you handed out raisins, you might be in for a trick instead of a treat. Raisins are almost universally disliked in this context, and if you’re giving them out, it’s practically an open invitation for kids to egg your house. Watch out!
12. Swedish Fish: “Just Throwing Money Around”
Swedish Fish are for the big spenders who want to make an impression. They’re a niche candy and definitely on the pricier side, so handing them out means you’re going the extra mile to be memorable.
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