How to Tell If You’re a Good Parent!

Parenting is a tough job, and sometimes it can be hard to gauge if you're doing it right. After all, there’s no clear-cut handbook for raising confident, well-adjusted kids. But Alain de Botton, the philosopher and author of The Architecture of Happiness, recently shared a simple question that could help you figure out if you're on the right track as a parent.

In a recent podcast episode on 20VC with Harry Stebbings, Alain revealed a fascinating way to gauge your parenting style: Ask your child if they want to be famous.

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Why Fame is NOT the Key to Parenting Success

According to Alain, a child who doesn’t dream of fame might be a sign that you’ve done a great job when raising them.

Why? Because children who aren’t obsessed with the idea of fame have enough internal validation and self-worth. They don’t rely on external recognition to feel good about themselves.

In the podcast, Alain explained that kids who long for fame are seeking external validation, which comes from a broadcast system — like being seen by strangers. On the other hand, children who are content with their small, close-knit circle of relationships have learned to value the connections that truly matter.

Is Your Child Comfortable with Quiet Confidence?

Alain goes on to explain that kids who don’t yearn for fame are more likely to be content with being known by a small group of people, like their family and friends.

They don’t feel the need to broadcast their achievements to the world. This kind of grounded self-esteem often indicates a parent who’s focused on nurturing emotional security and confidence, rather than external accolades.

So, the next time you're wondering if you’re doing a good job as a parent, consider asking your child this simple yet telling question: "Do you want to be famous?" Their answer might just provide a glimpse into the confidence you've helped them build — one that doesn't require the approval of strangers.