The World Cup Halftime Show Was Like Someone Hit "Shuffle" on the Entire Entertainment Industry

If you thought the Super Bowl halftime show packed a lot into 13 minutes... the FIFA World Cup said, "Hold my trophy."

The tournament's very first halftime show lasted just 11 minutes, but somehow squeezed in Madonna, Justin Bieber, BTS, Shakira, Burna Boy, the Muppets, Ted Lasso, Coldplay's Chris Martin... and even Cookie Monster.

Honestly, it felt less like a concert and more like someone accidentally left YouTube autoplay running.

Madonna kicked things off with "Music," making a dramatic entrance after appearing in a pre-recorded roller rink segment before cruising into the stadium in a dune buggy. Because apparently that's the most normal way to arrive at a soccer game.

Then came legendary Brazilian soccer stars Ronaldo and Ronaldinho, followed by an orchestra performing "Seven Nation Army"... with Animal from The Muppets filling in on drums.

Sure. Why not?

Next up, BTS had fans screaming with a performance of "Dynamite," before Jason Sudeikis and Brendan Hunt showed up in character as the coaches from Ted Lasso to introduce Justin Bieber.

Sudeikis even joked, "Don't be nervous... nobody's watching."

Justin then slowed things down with an acoustic performance before Shakira and Burna Boy fired the energy right back up with the tournament's official anthem, complete with dancers, colourful feathers, and enough choreography to make everyone watching from their couch suddenly aware of how out of shape they are.

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Shakira, of course, is practically the Queen of World Cup songs. If FIFA ever opens a Hall of Fame for tournament anthems, she's getting her own wing.

The grand finale featured the PS22 children's chorus, Chris Martin from Coldplay, and what seemed like every Muppet and Sesame Street character available, including Kermit, Miss Piggy, Cookie Monster, and Count von Count.

Because apparently FIFA's official theme this year was: "Everyone's invited."

And before the match even started, the closing ceremony featured performances from Jennifer Hudson, Post Malone, Robbie Williams, plus an appearance from Tom Cruise, who delivered a motivational speech.

So, in the span of about 20 minutes, we got pop stars, soccer legends, puppets, movie stars, children's television characters, and Ted Lasso.

The only thing missing?

Pitbull.

Which honestly feels like an administrative oversight. 🌎⚽🎤