Chuck E. Cheese Is Now Catering to Grown-Ups—Yes, Really

Just when you thought your childhood fever dreams were safely locked away in the vault with your Beanie Babies and Lip Smackers, Chuck E. Cheese is back—and it’s all grown up.

The company just launched a new spin-off called Chuck’s Arcade, a chain specifically for adults. Because nothing says “I’m coping with adult stress” like playing Mortal Kombat while holding a cocktail and trying not to think about your property taxes.

The first 10 locations just opened in malls across the U.S. (Sorry, Canada—our nearest dose of nostalgia-fuelled trauma will have to wait.) Think of it as your old mall arcade, but with craft beer, chicken tenders that cost twice as much, and fewer children screaming during the “Happy Birthday” song. Fewer. Not zero.

What’s Inside This Adult Wonderland?

• Modern games like Halo, because millennials still think they’re good at it.
• Classics like Asteroids and Mortal Kombat, so you can relive your button-mashing glory days.
• Tickets and prizes, because yes, you still need 1,200 points for a rubber duck keychain. Some things never change.

And yes, kids are technically allowed—but the vibe is decidedly nostalgic. Chuck’s Arcade is being marketed as a “modern-day love letter” to the games and people who made Chuck E. Cheese great. (Translation: They’re counting on your childhood trauma and quarter addiction to get you through the doors.)

RELATED: CHUCK E. CHEESE IS RELEASING A COOKBOOK

Oh, and the Animatronics? They’re Back.

Each location will feature a real animatronic band member from back in the day, so you can relive the joy/fear combo that was a singing chicken in a party hat.

Let’s do a quick roll call:

• Helen Henny: A chicken with ‘80s bangs and too much eye shadow.
• Mr. Munch: A purple monster with zero context.
• Jasper T. Jowls: A dog in a trucker hat.
• Pasqually: The vaguely offensive Italian chef/drummer.
• Chuck “Entertainment” Cheese: The mouse, the myth, the mildly unsettling legend.

So Why Now?

Because millennials are tired. We’re tired of bills, tired of meetings, and tired of pretending we’re not emotionally attached to arcade tokens. Chuck’s Arcade is betting on nostalgia to bring us back—except now, you can play skee-ball with a beer in one hand and a midlife crisis in the other.

Final Verdict? It’s like your childhood birthday party, but with booze, fewer balloons, and slightly more existential dread.