What’s the ‘Ideal’ Number of Sexual Partners? Study Says There Is a Sweet Spot

We all know body count is a loaded topic. But according to a new study, there’s a so-called “ideal” number of sexual partners — and it’s not as high (or low) as you might think.

The research, published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, asked what number of partners society finds acceptable. The answer? Somewhere between “experienced” and “not too experienced.”

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For men:

• Ideal number: 4–5 lifetime partners
• Casual hookups within that: 2–3
• Average age of first time: Between 18–20

For women:

• Ideal number: 2–3 partners total
• Casual flings: Just 1–2
• Average age of first time: Between 16–18

Yes, the study suggests women are still expected to keep it “low and slow,” while guys get a little more leeway — and that double standard? Still very much alive.

Despite the “ideal,” the real average is way higher — around 14 partners per person over a lifetime. So where’s the disconnect? Blame society, outdated norms, or the fact that people are straight-up lying.

In a separate survey of 2,000 sexually active adults:

• 1 in 4 people in relationships admitted to keeping their body count a secret
• 16% said they intentionally lowballed the number when asked
• 60% claim their partner just never brought it up
• 1 in 9 suspect their partner might be fudging their own number

And while 83% of singles say they’d be honest about their body count, only 62% actually want to hear their partner’s number. (Which feels very “don’t ask if you don’t want the answer.”)

So what’s the takeaway? Numbers are just numbers — and unless you’re being asked by a doctor, maybe we can all stop keeping score.

Would you be honest about your body count — or would you round it down too?