Missouri Police Warn Citizens Not To Wrestle With Bears

If you wrestle a bear in Missouri, the consequences could be even worse than getting mauled half-to-death a la Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant. That's right, scuffle with a bear and you could be grappling with a misdemeanour.

The Salem Police Department on the edge of the Mark Twain National Forest reminded everyone of that actual state law on the books yesterday when a Salem resident spotted a black bear near Rolla Road on the northern edge of town. 

The department wrote on Facebook, "If you see or encounter a bear please notify the Police Department, do not try and feed or interact with the bear." 

Not only is wrestling a bear that can weigh as much as 660 pounds a bad idea on its own merits, but it's also expressly forbidden by law. 

You'll be breaking Missouri's bear wrestling law if you do any of the following: wrestle a bear; permit bear wrestling on premises under your control; promote, conduct, or stage bear wrestling; advertise bear wrestling; collect admissions for bear wrestling; purchase, sell or possess a bear which you know will be used for bear wrestling; train a bear for bear wrestling; subject a bear to surgical alteration for bear wrestling. 

There is a long history of humans wrestling bears, which may explain why the phrasing of those infractions is so oddly specific. The offences are all considered class A misdemeanours.