“Roaching” describes the act of secretly dating and sleeping with multiple people. Us 90s kids called them players!
The term was coined by AskMen, and matchmaker Susan Trombetti who says that the term ‘comes from the ickiness of seeing one of these nasty little bugs but knowing when you turn the lights on, there are lots of them’.
The gross bit of roaching is the secrecy. A roacher won’t be open about what they’re up to, leaving you feeling like a bit of an idiot when you realize you’re not the only person they’re romancing.
So, what are some signs that you’re being roached? And what can you do about it?
Signs of roaching
There are some signs that the person you’re dating is seeing other people behind your back:
- They pull random disappearing acts, where they won’t be contactable for hours/days and then will pop back up as nothing happened
- They’ll cancel plans with lame excuses
- They’re hardly ever available
- They post photos of nights out that you have no idea about
- They don’t put in the effort to make plans
- They’ll half-commit to a date, but won’t confirm or cancel until the last minute
- They don’t want to talk about exclusivity or a relationship
- They keep you at arm’s length
- They’re guilty of stashing – so haven’t introduced you to anyone in their life