The first stage of a relationship is always fun! It’s all sparks and electric connections because everything is new and exciting.
By the time you’re in a long-term relationship, that initial spark may fizzle in place of a more comfortable relationship.
Despite being more emotionally committed, physical connections may wane as you start having less sex.
But scientists have found a hack for wanting to have more sex with a long-term partner.
A new study by researchers at Toronto’s York University found to have novel experiences, you need to see your partner in a new light.
Love and acceptance might be staples in a long-term relationship but as desire can trickle out, seeing your partner in a new light can bring the spark back, says the study.
To find that desire once again, the researchers found, couples need to re-establish self-expansion (new experiences that facilitate growth) and otherness (the psychological distance that lets you see a partner in a new light).
So now that you know you need to experience self-expansion and otherness to feel close, and well, horny, how do you go about it? According to Psychology Today which looked in-depth at the study, you can do this by:
- Taking classes together or using online resources to learn something new.
- Visiting a new place — museums, botanical gardens, vineyards, zoos, antique stores, etc.
- Trying a new activity — making pizza, fruit picking, dancing, hiking, and kayaking.
- Sharing opinions about a topic you rarely discuss — anything from favourite childhood TV shows to plans for retirement.