What the Heck Is Toxic Positivity, and Why Does It Feel So... Icky?

You know that one person who insists on “looking on the bright side” even when your life is in flames? Yeah. That’s not cheerfulness—it’s toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity is what happens when people try so hard to avoid negative emotions that they bulldoze right over reality.

It's the emotional equivalent of slapping a smiley face sticker on a cracked windshield and pretending everything’s fine.

Here’s How It Shows Up:

1. You lost your job, and someone chirps, “Just stay positive!”
   Oh, okay. I’ll pay my mortgage with good vibes and gratitude, then?
   
2. You bombed a presentation, and someone offers, “Everything happens for a reason.”
   Maybe the reason is... I was underprepared and had a caffeine headache. Sometimes we just suck. It’s fine.
   
3. You’re crying into your wine, and a friend says, “Happiness is a choice.”
   Great. So now I’m also choosing to be sad? Thanks for the guilt garnish on my emotional breakdown.

While these “positive” comments usually come from a good place, they can feel more like a spiritual slap than support. They shut down real feelings, and worse, they can make you feel like it’s your fault for being human.

So, What’s the Difference Between Optimism and Toxic Positivity?

Good question!
Optimism is hopeful and realistic. It’s like saying, “Today was rough, but tomorrow might be better.”
Toxic positivity is more like: “No bad vibes allowed! Smile or else!”

See the difference?

The truth is, it’s normal to have off days, to feel sad, angry, anxious, or just meh. The key is not ignoring those feelings, but letting them exist without judgment. (Because if you bottle it all up, it’ll eventually come out... probably at Costco, in front of strangers.)

RELATED: The Most Common Toxic Workplace Behaviours in 2025

Mantra Time:

“It’s okay to not be okay.”
Say it with me, maybe into a throw pillow while wearing sweatpants.

Also—if you’ve got a co-worker who insists on being aggressively cheerful during every single Zoom call, even when the Wi-Fi’s crashing and everyone’s on their last nerve... yeah, that’s another red flag. Toxic positivity loves to thrive in office culture.

Let’s be real: life isn’t all sunshine and Pinterest quotes. So give yourself (and your friends) permission to feel the full emotional rainbow—even the stormy parts.