THINGS I’VE SAID TO BOTH MY BOYS AND MY DOGS

Living in a house with two boys and a couple of dogs has blurred the parenting lines to the point where I honestly don’t know who I’m talking to half the time.

The same phrases fly out of my mouth daily, usually before coffee, like, “What is in your mouth?” “Why are you licking that?” and the ever-popular, “If you throw up on the carpet, we’re going outside.”

Somewhere along the way, my life turned into a chaotic group chat where everyone sheds, nobody listens the first time, and snacks are treated like a competitive sport. I love them all deeply… but I stand by the rule that if you come when I shake a bag of treats, you forfeit the right to be offended. 🐾🍿

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Here are more things I've said to both my boys and my dogs.

-Don’t pee on that
-Get off the counter
-Stop Licking That
-Get that out of your mouth
-Don’t smell his butt
-Is that poo?
-No Biting
-Don’t jump on people
-Why are you wet?
-That’s not a toy
-Did you just come into my room and fart?
-Get your butt off my face
-You stink, you need a bath
-You can still be hungry, I just fed you
-Get your dirty feet off my couch
-Don’t sit on your brother’s head
-Leave the dead bird alone
-Put your wiener away