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Funny New Year’s Resolutions That You Can Actually Achieve!

Some of these are doable!
Published December 13, 2022

Resolutions are hard to stick to.  We usually start great, but two weeks into January, it all goes downhill!

Here are some funny New Year’s resolutions we can keep!

  1. Order every drink on the menu at Tim Hortons
  2. Stock up on fresh fruits and vegetables — and eat them before they turn into green mystery goop in the back of the fridge
  3. Flamingo a friend’s yard for their birthday
  4. Sign up for a marathon, but don’t run in it
  5. Stop drinking your morning coffee AFTER you Brush your teeth
  6. Stop blaming your farts on the dog
  7. Wine down the day with a glass of vino…oh, wait, you’ve already perfected that resolution.
  8. Become the GOAT at sarcasm.
  9. Come to terms with the fact that John Mayer is in his 40s
  10. Treat your car to regular disco carwashes
  11. Be on a first-name basis with your Uber eats delivery man/woman
  12. Start a meme account
  13. Stay in the bathroom while you brush your teeth
  14. Carefully read all of the directions on a box of food before throwing it away
  15. Do yoga so you can justify wearing Yoga pants
  16. Got a little “junk in the truck?” Find out what’s in there…literally: see what treasures are hiding out in your car’s trunk.
  17. Learn the “Thriller Dance” For Halloween
  18. Rearrange your kitchen…yet again!
  19. Break your New Year’s Resolutions…and don’t feel guilty one bit!
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