What Is ‘Future-Faking’ and Why It’s a Red Flag in Relationships

When it comes to relationships, one of the most toxic behaviours that can often go unnoticed is future-faking. This term might sound like something out of a sci-fi movie, but in reality, it’s a manipulative tactic that can leave you feeling emotionally drained and questioning your worth.

So, What Exactly Is Future-Faking?

At its core, future-faking involves someone making promises about the future to their partner—promises that they have no intention of keeping. It’s all about feeding you with the illusion of a better future, just enough to keep you hooked in the present.

Psychologists suggest that future-faking is a narcissistic manipulation technique. The person doing the “faking” isn't trying to follow through with their promises. Instead, they’re trying to keep the relationship going, often for selfish reasons like adoration, validation, or maintaining their status.

An Example of Future-Faking in Action

Let’s say you're in a relationship, and your partner promises that next year, you’ll move into a beautiful new house. But, there’s a catch: for this to happen, you’re expected to refrain from spending money on yourself for the next 12 months. Sound familiar?

This is classic future-faking—where a person promises something significant down the road in exchange for immediate compliance. The kicker? Their real goal is not to honour that promise but to keep you emotionally invested and controlled.

Related: Being Married Helps You Live Longer!

The ‘Ultimate’ Future-Fake: Growing Old Together

One of the most manipulative forms of future-faking is when someone promises to “grow old” with their partner. It’s an emotional manipulation tactic that plays on the natural desire for a long-term, committed relationship. But the narcissist's aim is not love or commitment; it’s about securing what they need from you at the moment.

Why Should You Be Aware of Future Faking?

Future faking can have a huge impact on your mental and emotional well-being. If you find yourself in a relationship where your partner keeps promising things that never come to fruition, it may be time to take a step back and evaluate whether the relationship is truly healthy for you.

Recognizing the signs of future-faking is crucial for protecting your heart and your sanity. If you start to notice patterns of unkept promises and emotional manipulation, it’s important to address the issue or consider whether it’s worth continuing to invest your time and energy.

In Conclusion

While future-faking may seem harmless at first, it’s a subtle and toxic behaviour that can deeply affect your self-esteem and emotional health. Stay aware, trust your instincts, and don’t let someone string you along with empty promises about a future that’s never going to happen.