Michael Douglas Is Basically Retired (Unless Something Really Cool Comes Up)

After nearly 60 years of memorizing lines, dodging explosions, and making us feel very confused but intrigued during Fatal Attraction, Michael Douglas is officially in his "no thanks, I’m good" era.

The two-time Oscar winner — and yes, Hollywood royalty by birth — told reporters at the Karlovy Vary International Film Festival in the Czech Republic this week that he’s not planning to act again anytime soon. Or maybe ever.

“I Had to Stop,” Said Every Burnt-Out Millennial Ever

“I have not worked since 2022 purposefully because I realized I had to stop,” said Douglas, 80, sounding like every tired person who's ever rage-quit their job and then just... never went back. “I did not want to be one of those people who dropped dead on the set.”

Fair enough, King. You've earned it.

He announced while celebrating the 50th anniversary of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which he co-produced — in case you forgot that he’s not just an actor, he’s a behind-the-scenes boss, too.

“I have no real intentions of going back,” he said. “I say I’m not retired because if something special came up, I’d go back, but otherwise I’m quite happy just to watch my wife work.”

Let’s all take a moment to picture Michael Douglas in a robe, sipping tea, and watching Catherine Zeta-Jones slay on set. Iconic behaviour.

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So What’s Left on His To-Do List?

Even though he’s done, Douglas still has two projects in the can:

• A film called Looking Through Water
• And a miniseries, Reagan & Gorbachev, which honestly sounds like the world’s most intense history class.

His career began back in 1966, when he had a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it role in Cast a Giant Shadow, starring a bunch of heavy hitters — including his dad, Kirk Douglas. Talk about a family business.