Things We Think Are Super Cool!

Apparently, if you want people to think you’re cool in 2026, you don’t need a sports car, leather jacket, or six-pack abs anymore.

You just need to aggressively enjoy science… while eating avocado toast and carrying around a hardcover book.

A new poll asked Americans to rank dozens of things from “very cool” to “not cool at all,” and honestly the results feel less like a popularity contest and more like a university professor’s grocery list.

The NUMBER ONE coolest thing?
Science.

Science!

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Which is amazing news for every kid who got shoved into lockers for loving chemistry in the ‘80s. Revenge of the nerds is officially complete.

Outer space ranked near the top too, proving people are absolutely fascinated by planets they’ll never visit while still refusing to learn how taxes work on Earth.

Reading books also scored incredibly high, which means society has officially reached the point where simply finishing a novel counts as a personality trait.

Other “very cool” things included rock music, movies, coffee, computers, sourdough bread, tea, and video games.

Basically the coolest possible person right now is someone sipping an oat milk latte, listening to classic rock, solving math problems beside homemade sourdough while softly discussing Saturn.

And somehow… online surveys also made the list. Which feels suspiciously like online surveys ranking themselves cool. Nice try, nerds.

Meanwhile, the LEAST cool things included sports betting, cryptocurrency, guns, marijuana, and beer.

Which means somewhere, a guy named Brad just stared at this list while holding an IPA and checking Bitcoin prices like: “Well… this feels targeted.”

Honestly, the whole thing proves society has changed dramatically. Twenty years ago, the coolest guy in school had frosted tips and a dirt bike.

Now the coolest person is apparently someone who says things like: “I actually prefer physical books because I enjoy the smell of the pages.”