U.S.-CANADA TRADE WAR COULD SEND TOILET PAPER PRICES ROLLING HIGHER 🧻🇨🇦

Just when you thought the Canada-U.S. trade war couldn't get any more crappy, toilet paper has officially entered the chat. Yes, we've apparently reached the bottom of this trade dispute.

Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced another round of retaliatory tariffs on hundreds of American products as tensions between Canada and the United States continue.

And among the nearly 900 products caught in the cross-border battle? Toilet paper and facial tissue stock.

RELATED: Charmin's "Forever Roll" Is Here... Because Changing Toilet Paper Is Apparently Too Much Work 🧻😂

That's right. We've gone from tariffs on steel, lumber and automobiles to something Canadians take VERY seriously: What happens after your morning double-double.

Beginning September 8, toilet paper and facial tissue stock coming into Canada from the U.S. will face a 25 per cent tariff. And toilet paper has a surprisingly complicated relationship with the border.

Many popular brands, including Charmin, are manufactured in the United States, but American paper manufacturers also rely on Canadian wood and pulp.

So Canada sends raw materials south. Americans turn some of it into toilet paper.

Then some of that toilet paper comes rolling back north. It's basically international trade...

but quilted and two-ply.

The concern is that tariffs can add costs at different points in that journey, potentially making an everyday household necessity more expensive.

Suddenly your innocent 24-pack of toilet paper has crossed the border more times than your retired neighbours who winter in Florida. And Americans shouldn't laugh too hard.

In 2024, the United States imported roughly $328 million worth of toilet paper from Canada, according to World Bank trade data. Canada was its biggest foreign supplier.

So if this trade battle continues, consumers on BOTH sides of the border could eventually feel the squeeze. Exactly how much prices might rise isn't clear yet. And before anyone gets any ideas...

DO NOT PANIC-BUY TOILET PAPER.

We already did that movie in 2020. Nobody needs to see the sequel.

Because the moment somebody posts a picture of an empty Costco shelf, every Canadian dad within 50 kilometres is going to come home with 96 rolls and nowhere to put them.

For now, we'll have to see how this all unrolls. But if there's one thing Canadians and Americans can probably agree on... Trade disputes are complicated.

Tariffs are messy. And nobody wants an international crisis that leaves us...

caught with our pants down. 🧻