We put a lot of trust in doctors, and they don’t always deserve it: Someone asked people to name the weirdest or funniest thing a medical professional has ever said to them. Here are a few highlights . . .
1. A doctor randomly asked, “Are you okay with your face being so asymmetrical?” The person said they’d never noticed, but now they can’t unsee it.
2. A nurse was putting in an I.V. and said, “Don’t worry. I used to be a heroin addict, so I’m good at this.”
3. A middle-aged guy had back pain, and his doctor said, “Well yeah, you’re tall.” So he asked, “Am I gonna end up being a hunched-over 90-year-old?” Then the doctor laughed and said, “You’re not gonna see 90!”
4. A doctor asked a guy if she could show people pictures of his tonsils, because they were, “the most disgusting tonsils she had ever seen.”
5. Someone thought they had the flu. Their doctor walked into the room, eating a bowl of cereal (???), and said, “Do you know what AIDS is? It’s a virus, and there’s no cure. But you have a different virus that’s much more treatable.”
6. Similar story: Someone went in for an STD check. The doctor listed every possible disease before saying, “You don’t have any of those.”
7. A woman didn’t recognize her old gynecologist when he walked up to her at a store. So a little too loudly, he said, “I’ll give you a hint. Last time I saw you, your ankles were in the air.”
8. A doctor was telling someone their brain scan came back clean and said, “Good news! We scanned your brain and confirmed there’s nothing in there.”
9. A doctor told a woman her metabolism was so slow, that she’d do well in an apocalypse.
10. During a woman’s C-section, the doctor leaned in and said, “Okay, we got past the part I had to watch on YouTube.” Luckily, she got the joke.